Nothing is happening at present on the medical side of life. The oncologist meeting is not until Friday so, I am hoping, the intervening time will allow rest and repose. Hallelujah!
I enjoyed a most wonderful day at home yesterday, pottering in the garden and simply enjoying the fine weather and the ambience of my little cottage. Today has brought visits from several friends and much good fellowship.
In these recent days I have been so blessed in my "God Time", the morning starts spent in communion and intimacy with Him. I am not sleeping well at present, so a 4am start is not unusual. C'est la vie!!
I feel to share with you some of my reflections from this time. The following is from Saturday. 21st April, one of my first days at home.
Home
Jesus answered, “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father?’ ” John 14.9
Philip had asked, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” (v8). Jesus shows us the Father. This is God – Father, Son and Spirit. And He is highly visible. All I need do is look to Him, look for Him, receive Him, and live in the sweetest communion with Him.
I am reminded of Paul’s enquiry on the road to Damascus: “Who are you, Lord?”(Acts 9.5) I adopt this question for myself. Who, indeed, is this – my Lord? This query can lead me into the mysteries of heaven, into divine realms of unlimited wonder and awe, and of constant and continuing revelation! Do I know God? Well, yes! But this is only the start. I give myself into the fullness of knowing Him. I yearn to touch depths of intimacy with Him and to share with true abandon, the love of the Almighty.
Oswald Chambers (My Utmost for His Highest, 1927, p118) says, wisely, “We look for God to manifest Himself to his children; God only manifests Himself in His children.” Wow! How blessed, and blessing, is this?
I want God to overwhelm me. I wish Him to consume me. And my deep desire is that He should burst forth from me, and spread abroad like a raging, beautiful and wonderful disease. If I can be a tiny cog in His gigantic mechanism, I shall be well pleased.
Lord, Mighty God, Lord Jesus, Holy Spirit,
I want more of You. May I please have more of You? Would You fill me to overflowing with Your presence, Your love, grace and mercy, and Your utmost blessing?
I sense that I need to face fearlessly the time ahead and whatever it might bring. I believe I am ready, for I know that You are with me. You guide my every step; You originate my every move. I find it impossible to be concerned with any negativity at this time. My whole being is in You. My future is in Your hands. I so want to do much more for You. I hope this is in Your plan for me.
Meanwhile, I give myself to rest in You, to receive and refresh, to love and be loved. Amen.
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