Lament

Your ways, O God, are holy.

What god is so great as our God?

You are the God who performs miracles;

you display your power among the peoples.            Psalm 77.13,14

I reflect that this psalm has likely been in being for three thousand years yet, today – today out of all that time – God points it at me. He points it to me, allowing me, I believe, to add my own echo to the psalmist’s words.

The psalm is a lament. The writer has been crying out to God in distress, seeking the Lord, stretching out untiring hands to God in the night, and with a soul that refuses to be comforted.

O, how I identify with this person. I must concede that I am not in distress. Restless would probably be the best description of my present condition. I yearn for more ministry in God. I’m almost fretful that I cannot discover or discern any clear opening that God might be making for me. So, what does this tell me? My rational processes say there’s nothing opening because, right now, God has nothing new for me. Stay put! Keep doing the little that I’m presently doing – and be content!

Oh, God, how difficult this is. It’s hurting me. I do confess this, and I seek Your forgiveness. I know that I know it’s not about me, but You. It’s about You, and Your will for me. Yet, just now, it’s so difficult to receive and accept this seeming inactivity. Then I say to myself, ‘Who am I to consider my own desires to be so important, and so necessary to the Kingdom work?’ Forgive me, Lord. I’m truly sorry.

The psalmist talks of his “songs in the night”. Just this last night I awoke and my experience was strangely in accord with the psalmist’s description. The very best way I can encapsulate how I felt and expressed myself in the darkness was as a “song in the night”. Is God speaking to me? Is God not showing me something by the very relevance of these words as the loudest reminder of my own experience of just a few hours ago? This is uncanny! But isn’t it just God?

The psalmist continues with self-pitying expressions of God’s rejection, his forgotten-ness and God’s withholding from him. Yes, verily, isn’t that the truth?

But then he changes tack, and makes a positive choice. He chooses to think of God’s good deeds, His miracles and wonderful works. This becomes his meditation and he cries out to God in rejoicing:

            Your ways, O God, are holy.

What god is so great as our God?

You are the God who performs miracles;

you display your power among the peoples.

Of course, this is the way for me. I’ve had my whinge. I’ve bleated out my complaint but, just like the psalmist, I know in my heart that God is good and His ways and purposes for me only stem from His goodness. If He chooses to withhold, He has good reason to. If He chooses to deny altogether who am I to protest? I have said my primary desire is to live in His will, and so I must allow Him his way with me, in whoever I might be and whatever I might do, or not do.

Great God, Loving Father,

Forgive me. I have made my complaint. I am restless to be doing more for You and I cannot understand why You’re not responding. This is my complaint. I make it to You and I leave it with You. You are the great God. Your ways are indeed holy. I know this well and I rejoice to know You as a God of miracles and power, and as a God of love and mercy. I rest in You, Lord. If any of these ambitions I feel are my own fabrication I ask You to destroy them. Let me live only for You. If You desire any particular activity of me, I pray I am willing and ready to respond. Show me Your ways. Lead me in those paths that draw me to You and keep me walking in time with Your purposes for me.

Know my heart full of love for You. Receive my love. I pray it will bless You. Lead me in my journey through this day. I hope to please You in who I am and honour You in anything I do.

I thank You, in deep sincerity and genuine humility.                                                        Amen.