I note from my last posting that I was hoping for a decent sleep. It didn't happen! Indeed, in retrospect I am tempted to see Saturday night as the Dark Night of the Soul.
The breathing that got easier during the afternoon very quickly worsened as night fell. And it did not get any better through the night. I can tell you I struggled! I have not previously had the experience of literally fighting for breath. On this night it became a very real fight. I was blessed with a beautiful nurse who went out of her way to help but, when all is said and done, the struggle was mine and not hers.
And what a struggle it was! I sat in the chair until I felt that my eyes would close without any help from me. Then, when I transferred to bed - and a less upright position - all sorts of resistances kicked in. In seconds I was wide awake again. This happened numerous times until, finally, I simply collapsed into sleep. It was not far off dawn. The next day was challenging.
Today (Monday) there has been a vast improvement. Breathing has improved through fluid control together with adjustment to medications. I have received clearance from the cardiologists, and now I only await approval from the Respiratory Team before I can go home. Hopefully this will happen tomorrow. Oncologists are ready to commence treatment next Monday.
There have been several times in my journey through life when things have happened which have made me wonder how God could possibly work for the good. He has done so - in His time and in His way - despite my wondering! These recent happenings might well be such a "thing". Yet, in retrospect, I look at the exposures and experiences I have been through, and I see the insights that I have gained from this time. So, it just might be that God will work for good, and He might use me to assist.
Lord God,
I didn't think I'd say this, but I thank You for all of these recent happenings. I know that You will work for good, and I feel privileged to be involved. Thank You. Amen.
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