Following

Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.                                                                                                                                     Luke 9.61

The man qualified his acceptance of following Jesus. Quite naturally, he wanted to farewell his family. However, when we follow Jesus we may be called to move from the natural, to give up habits that stem from our worldly way of living. Human logic is foolishness against the wisdom of God. Yet human thinking so dominates daily life that it might require extreme effort on our part to break through.

Jesus’ way is the spiritual way. As I give myself to follow Him, I release myself to the working of God’s Holy Spirit in me, and to His leading of me through the whole of my life and living. And this must be a complete giving of myself. I cannot partially live in the Spirit. I cannot give myself to follow the Spirit when it suits me. If I am serious about following Jesus – and I do believe I am – then I give myself into His spiritual leading and guiding for every single moment of life.

Furthermore, I am finding this is not difficult as I give myself to it! Indeed, there are times when I think I’m being rather irresponsible. This is not so! What I am in fact doing, is trusting God. And how good this is!

To be able to say, “I trust God”is the most wonderful thing. As I present myself, daily, into His charge and keeping, I find I can relax in who I am, and I need not worry about what I must do. God is in charge, and all I need do is follow Him.

I love God, and I delight in His ways for me. At times the way may be uneven, even rocky and rugged. Yet, with God in charge, I know it is the right way for me. I need fear no evil, nor concern myself with the details of life. I simply give myself into the day as it unfolds.

I say, quite simply, “Lord, have Your way in me.”

Lord God,

I repeat, “Have Your way in me.” I want to go the way You would have me go – always. I pray that Your plan and purposes for me will unfold as we journey the day together. I give myself fully into Your keeping and I look to serve You faithfully in whatever the day holds. I love You, and I seek to outwork that love in my life today.                   Amen.

My heart

“ … let us draw near with a sincere heart…”                                                          Heb. 10.22

God is after my heart and how I yearn to give it to Him. My heart gives me away. The true essence of who I am is found in my heart. God sees me in my heart. I believe that my heart is sold out to God. How I want to give Him all of me. Sadly, my head still gets in the way from time to time. My head holds me in the world when my heart seeks to free me to soar into the heavenlies.

It is my heart that will draw me to God. As I fix the desire of my heart upon Him, as I seek Him with all my heart, I believe He will draw me to Him. His love and His joy will enter into my heart and spread from the heart into every part of me. O joy! Hallelujah! Praise God!

Lord God,

I give You my heart. My heart is filled with a longing, a desire to be totally consumed by You. I surrender completely to You.

I offer You also my head, for I know that my head sometimes gets in the way of my heart coming to You in fullness. My head leads me astray in directions I do not want to go. Help me, Lord. Strengthen and enable me to take every thought captive to the Lord Jesus. My prayer is that Jesus would be Lord of all of me, Lord of my mind ad thinking, my heart and emotions, my body and behaviour, my conscience and right doing, and my spirit and my communion with You. 

Come, Lord Jesus. Take me. I offer myself in total surrender to You.

I draw near with a sincere heart. I open up all the depths of my heart to receive Your Holy presence. I come to You. Take me, in Your precious name I ask.               Amen.

Covenant, promise

“For this is the covenant that I will make…

I will put My laws into their minds, 

and I will write them on their hearts.                        

And I will be their God, …

For all will know me….

For I will be merciful to their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.”

                                                                                                               Heb. 8.10 – 12

God has promised. He has furthermore promised on oath. A new covenant, a promise on oath between Almighty God and all who would turn to Him in sincerity. 

Previously the Law had been placed in men’s minds. The Law which was given to Moses was taken into the minds of men. Very likely, most could quote the Law from memory such was its place in their minds. But the Law was not enacted in their lives! The way of living was not in accord with God’s Law. Why is this?

However deeply the Law was entrenched in the mind, if it was not taken into the heart, and fully taken in, then there would be no real outworking of it in lives. Such was the old!

But things have changed. Now there is a new covenant. And God has said HE will put His laws into my mind and HE will write them on my heart. This is good news, this is good news indeed! Only as I see and believe what God has promised and only as my heart is ready, at any cost, to claim and possess it, can any blessing be realised. But God is in this. He is fully in it with me. HE will do so much for me. He promises to put His laws in my mind and to write them on my heart. He promises on oath – and God is not a man that He should lie!!

If I allow God His way, He will fulfil His promises in such a way that His law will be my inner nature, my very life, and I will act according to it as naturally as I think or live. With God’s law written on my heart it becomes a part of me, and I become part with it.

Jesus is the mediator of this new covenant. He is the way and He is the guarantee. He is in heaven but He also dwells in my heart by faith. As I meditate on this and really, really take it into my being, I will begin to realise, and grow in a growing realisation, that the power of the endless life from the throne of God has taken possession of me.

Jesus is in me. He lives in me. God has written His law on my heart. What is my part in the fullness of the realisation of this presence and this power? I must wait in deep dependence, patient waiting, and implicit reliance on his might power.

Lord,

I receive all that this writing tells me. Oh that You would write Your Law on my heart and, through Jesus, show me the way of endless life in Your Law. The Jesus that reigns in heaven in power and glory eternally also dwells in my heart here and now.

Lord God, I ask You for greater revelation of this in my life. Take me more and more, into the reality of this as You lead me on.

I believe I must wait on You in deep dependence. I must wait patiently and with implicit reliance on Your mighty power. Help me with this, Lord. Teach me to wait. Increase my willingness. Help me to lean on You and learn from You,                                        

                                                                                            in Jesus’ name I ask.       Amen.

Walking with God

There really isn’t a great deal to report on the medical front. I finished week 2 of treatment today, with one week to go next week. Then there’s a break before a review and possibly commencing the trial. I feel fine. Actually I feel so good, and it’s great to feel this way! 

So, I shall revert to my standard practice of blogging from my Prayer Journal in the hope that God may speak through it. Here is today’s reflection.

Enoch walked with God, then he was no more, because God took him away.          Gen. 5.24

There are but a handful of verses in the Scripture that tell us anything about Enoch. Yet what they tell us is powerful and exciting; it is challenging, and inviting. 

 Enoch walked with God.What more do we need to hear to liven us up, to bring joy into our lives, and to move us to want to follow Enoch? 

Enoch walked with God. What does this mean? First and foremost, for me this means to give myself to go God’s way and not my own way. My words for this action are: I want to live to God’s agenda and not my own. Is there a difference? I believe most certainly so! God’s way may bring blessing to me, blessing perhaps in excess of any I might imagine for myself. God’s way might also bring trial and testing, even hardship, for God has plans for me, and I believe His plans – even at this stage of my life, are plans to grow me, to mature me and, hopefully, to use me in further ministry for Him.

During my recent hospital stay, I experienced a rather severe incident that, I thought, was unnecessary. It was extremely painful for me, and I wondered why God allowed it. I developed a lung infection which, over one night in particular, caused me to literally fight for breath. It was most alarming. I thought I was going to lose my life.

At the time I couldn’t understand why God was allowing this. I thought, “Lord, I should be getting better, but I’m deteriorating fast. Will I last the night out?”I did, of course, and some time later I came to believe that God allowed my condition to worsen so that the testimony of healing would be greater. Glory to God! His power is awesome, and His love is all-embracing, and filled to overflowing with life, health and great joy in Him. I know I’m healed. I go forward in healing into the fullness of His plan for me.

Most Loving Father,

I am constantly amazed by the journey I am on with You. You are truly loving of me and Your care of and for me is spectacular. I look to the ongoing journey, to further working with You, spreading the love and care. I cherish Your company, and give myself wholeheartedly to You.

                                                                                                                                           Amen.

Moving on

Therefore leaving the elementary teaching about the Christ, let us press on to maturity, …                                                                                                                                     Heb. 6.1

A further treatment came this morning, followed by an afternoon check in with my GP. And that’s the medical news for now. So, I thought I’d dip into my Prayer Journal for an entry to the blog. 

I just so happened to come across this entry. It spoke clearly to me. I am ready to move on in so many areas. Certainly, the treatment will cease at the end of next week. I am ready to move on. I feel well, really well, and I want to get on with whatever lies ahead. Spiritually these recent months have been truly amazing. I could camp here, but I know I need to move on. I truly believe God has more for me. Is this selfish? I think not. A long time ago I promised God that, if He gave me more, I’d give it away. And so it goes. Here’s my offering on “Moving on”.

Moving on

  Oh yes! Let’s move forward. Let’s always be moving forward into maturity in our Lord Jesus. The epistle has already told us clearly of the humanity of Jesus – His perfect humanity. He lived as any other man. He experienced all of the rigours of everyday life, including the most severe of temptations. He was just like you and me except in this only, He did not succumb to sin. 

He understands us. He can empathise fully with any situation that we find ourselves in, for He has been in similar situations. But He did not yield to sin and, because of this, He is placed to rescue us. His most glorious act as man was the giving of Himself in perfect sacrifice for the sins of all, to release all who would come to Him, from the power of sin and into eternal life.

The epistle has told us also of His divinity. He is God, and He sits now in power and glory interceding continually for us and reaching down from heaven to grow us in, and into, His perfection. Our Saviour is God. He can do anything. This we must know. This knowledge we must live in. We must know beyond all doubt whatsoever that we are saved by a God of power, who sits in glory. He would have us live in a similar state. In His heavenly perfection He reaches to our earthly state to draw us to Him, to make manifest His perfection in us.

The epistle has told us these things and we must take in the fullness of them. This is foundational to our faith. This is the basis of our faith. This is the very beginning of our assurance, and verse 14 of chapter 3 reminds us that we must hold firm this assurance to the end.

The present verse exhorts us to leave the elementary teaching, to leave the beginning. This does not mean to discard, for how can we when we have already been told to hold it firm to the end. No, we do not discard it, but we move on. We hold on to it while, at the same time, moving on, growing in maturity in the knowledge of Jesus and in relationship with Him.

The foundation has been laid. The time has come to cease work on foundation building and rather to build up from, and upon, our foundation. Before we leave, however, the epistle writer reminds us of some of the truths incorporated in our sure foundation.

We repent from dead works. We seek life, life is Christ and anything that is not in Christ is dead and must be repented from.

We commit to our faith in God. Later in the epistle the writer will tell us that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. All present circumstance and evidence might deny a certain happening. Even future indicators may show grave uncertainty, but if we have a knowing in our spirit that a certain thing can happen in God, then we hold on to it. This is faith. Faith is believing God’s Word that tells us With God all things are possible.This is faith and we are called on to have faith in God. Hallelujah!

And so, we need to move on, to press on to maturity. We are told (v3) we will do this if God permits. God is our loving Father. No parent wants their child to remain a baby. The parent is eager to lead the child in the process of maturity, teaching them, guiding them into the truth. God is no different. In fact, I believe He is even more dedicated to growing His children into maturity. He will lead us into the truth. And Jesus is the Truth. God will lead us further into Jesus as we will allow Him.

God will lead us into the perfection of Jesus. He will cleanse us to enter in and serve the living God. God will reveal to us the perfection of Jesus, and through His divine power He will lift us into the perfection of Christ, revealing all truth to us and bringing us to the place where we willingly count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus as Lord. (Phil 3.8)

Oh, yes, I want to press on to maturity. I want to see the perfection of Jesus, to grasp it and hold it, to gain deep understanding of it, and to embrace it with all of my being.

Lord God,

I rejoice in this word today. I have been reminded of all the foundational material to the Christian life. I have this foundation and I stand firmly upon it.

But now I want to move on. I want to build upward. I look to heaven to my heavenly Lord and Saviour seated in power and glory. I look up to see the mightiness and wonder of my great God, to gaze upon the perfection of Christ.

And I would be made perfect. I receive the heavenly life that my Lord bestows upon me, from His throne in heaven into my life here on earth. I receive this, but I want more. I seek maturity and perfection in Him.

Lead me Lord God. Show me Your ways. Have Your way in me.

I come. I surrender. I look to You for all that You would give me.

I thank You

            in the powerful and precious name of my Lord Jesus Christ.             Amen.

Family

They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.                                                                                                            Acts 2.42

Today I met with my church family, for the first time face to face, since this present adventure began for me, some two months ago. It is always a privilege to minister to them or, indeed, to any of God’s precious children, but today was especially meaningful because we reconnected in His house and as His family. In the intervening time I have received visits and greetings from various members of my church family. Some have provided meals (greatly appreciated) while others have come forward to drive me to the treatment appointments. I am so grateful. But today was the first time for us all to meet together – and it was very special. After I gave my message, “This Present Season”, we shared communion as family. We celebrated our elder brother, Jesus, and His love and sacrifice for us, which brings us back into sweet relationship with the Father. 

The verse I’ve quoted refers to the early believers. It tells us of their practices. Before all else, they devoted themselves to learning about Jesus from the apostles’ first hand experiences. This is knowing Jesus rather than knowing about Him. There is a mighty difference between the two. We can know a great deal about God yet, if we don’t enjoy relationship, true and deep relationship, with Him then we are nothing. 

I cherish the relationship He has drawn me into. And from this relationship has come my relationship with so many brothers and sisters in Christ. I can truly say that He has given me an enormous, loving and caring family. And I have seen this manifest in recent times. I am indeed blessed, and I thank my God for His amazing love. 

Whilst I can rejoice in the blessings He pours out on me, I also feel for those who have no family. This can be addressed, and I can assist with my prayer to the Father for His intervention in lives that are desperate for love and care, companionship and understanding, company and comfort. I know these things, and I am so very grateful for them. But the gift is too precious to be kept secret. Jesus says that no one comes to Him unless the Father draws them. Peter tells me that the Father wants everyone to come into repentance (2 Peter 3.9) and, through repentance to enter into sweet relationship with the Father – and with His wonderful, enormous, loving family. Yes, please!!

Most Loving Father,

I thank You for the relationship You have drawn me into. I thank You for the wonderful friendship I enjoy with You and the many friendships that this has spawned with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I boldly ask for increase. Enable me, if You will, to spread the love, and to introduce others to the beauty and joy of relationship with You and Your family.

I pray especially for any who may be feeling lonely or in need at this time. My plea is that You would intervene and bring hope to the seemingly hopeless. May Jesus present in the form of one of His brothers or sisters. Send human hands and feet to minister Your love to those who may see themselves as unloved or even unlovely. Draw them to Jesus, in whose name I ask.             Amen.

Power

“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart I will be found by you,” declares the LORD.                                                                                      Jer. 29.12-14a

The first week of treatment is complete, and I feel fine. In fact, I’m feeling like a phoney for, throughout the whole of this very personal journey – and exciting adventure – I have truly felt that there is nothing wrong with me. And this could well be the case. From the very beginning, I have sensed God’s presence with me – close and intimate, sharing and releasing.

He has never left me. He is so faithful to His promise that He will never leave me or forsake me. I can attest to this. I have experienced it, and I cannot, I will not, deny what I experience.

I believe in the power of prayer. There have been times when I am ministering to a lost or hurting soul and I’ve said, “The most powerful thing I can do for you right now is to pray.” Even as the words leave my mouth, I have hoped that the listener understands, for prayer is simply not understood by the world nor, I dare to suggest by many in the Body of Christ. Prayer connects us with God. Prayer has the power to release the forces of heaven in the earthly battle. I have no misconceptions of prayer. As I connect with my most holy and loving Father through the dialogue of prayer, I am experiencing heaven itself, and the mighty, awesome power that comes from the divine majesty. Make no mistake, we can do no better than to call on Him, and pray to Him with the assurance that He will listen to us.

I know that prayer for me in recent weeks has been raised from all corners of the globe. I have been embarrassed by this knowledge, but also extremely humbled. I appreciate the support of the family of God in my present circumstances. If you, dear reader, have been praying for me, I thank you most humbly and sincerely. I also ask that you don’t stop. When I receive the final clearance – and I suspect this will not be too long coming – I shall raise a great Hallelujah, and a wonderful thanksgiving for all those who have supported me.

Folks, if you find yourself in difficult circumstances, bring yourself before God and hand over your dilemma to Him. Invite Christian friends to join you in prayer Yes, this is something I might previously have backed away from, but not any longer. I recognise the need for us to join together in support of each other, and in joint plea to our Mighty God and Father.

As you might have gathered, there is little to report on the medical scene. The treatment is progressing – it’s so brief as to be hardly noticeable. Maybe next week I’ll experience some after effects – we shall see!

Meanwhile, I give thanks to our wonderful God. I thank all those who have been, and hopefully still are, praying for me, and I commit any who may be suffering right now into the hands of a loving and caring, miracle-working God.

Almighty God and Most Loving Father,

I acknowledge You on all accounts. You are mighty, powerful, even terrifying, whilst also being Love itself, grace, mercy, hope and blessing. Indeed, dear Lord, You are everything. 

I thank You for Your attendance upon me throughout the whole of this present “adventure” – for, dear Lord, I cannot envisage it in any other way. I know You will lead me through, and to green pastures with much ministry potential. I know this, and I am excited.

I pray for all those with a very deep and real need for You in their lives. I believe Jesus when He says that no one can come to Him except through Your drawing of them. I therefore pray that You will draw to Jesus those who need You at this moment. I pray for those who know You yet struggle to let you fully into their lives and who find it difficult to give control over to you.

I thank You that You have so worked in my life, that I now trust You. I truly trust You, Lord, and I can look to You – and see You – in all things. I thank You, Lord, for Your presence, indeed for Your interference in my life. I thank You. I love You.          Amen.

A new chapter

Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.                                                                                         Isa. 58.8

Today a new chapter opened in my life story. The last chapter, the Chapter of Diagnosis, has finished and a page has been turned for me. This new chapter is that of: Healing, and the fullness of healing at that. I will not be sick. Indeed, I have no time for sickness, so it must go. 

This morning I received my first radiation treatment. I believe, for now, this is what God has led me to. I also believe it will not be an onerous time. I see it simply as “mopping up” or affirming that all is well. Some dear friends have also sent me information on natural therapies. I shall investigate further. As I see it, God can use the medical profession, or He can use natural remedies, or He can mix both! I have no doubt that my God can do anything.Meanwhile, I shall follow where He leads.

The quoted verse from Isaiah, I feel is particularly relevant to me. I see this present health hiccup as not the major issue, but merely a vehicle to release me into further powerful ministry. God has been all over my case. From the very beginning He has led me. And He aint finished yet!!I cannot help but be excited by what He is doing. It is so good to be involved with Him.

I look for the light of Christ to break forth in my ministry like the dawn of a glorious new day. The healing will come. Indeed, I believe it is already here. The righteousness I seek is the righteousness of God, and I can already see His glory safeguarding me, not only in the rear, but in front – and all about me.

Lord, Mighty God,

I feel a new thrill at Your presence with me. I am excited, and ready to go forward. I thank You for the sweet relationship You have drawn me into. I pray for much ministry and good fellowship to come.

Yet, should You decide to call me home, that’s OK. I join with Paul in saying: For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

Lord, let me live to honour You.

Amen.

Hidden with Christ.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.                                                                                                                                                 Gal. 2.20

Paul makes what I consider to be a very bold statement here. He is committing himself fully and willingly to a life in Jesus. Surely this is the reality of an honest and sincere Christian life. 

In Christian practice, it is easy to be seduced and drawn into “habit living”. I can generate habits to guide and assist me in the practice of my faith. For example, I aim to start my day in God time – giving myself over to sit with Him, to commune and share relationship with my great God and loving Father. I like to begin each day in this way, but it does not always happen. On rare occasions, other issues demand my attention. I think I’m pleased that this is so. I even wonder if God deliberately raises these distractions for, in following through with these other issues, I am breaking the pattern of habit.

What I see in my Christian life, and what I sense Paul endorses for me, is the total lifestyle of living in deep, intimate and real relationship with my God and my Lord, my Maker and my Friend. I cannot live through habit, whether a single habit or a series. No, my life is in Him – my whole life, every moment, every event, every thought, word and action.

Paul says something similar to my quoted verse, in another letter: For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. (Col. 3.3) I understand that the Greek translated here as “hidden” could also suggest – in the vernacular – that I “am totally mixed up with and in Christ.” In other words, where does He end, and I begin? Or vice versa. 

How wonderful! How glorious is this! This is not habitual. This is living as the Christian ought – totally, fully, unambiguously wrapped up in Jesus. Hallelujah!

Lord Jesus, 

I salute You. Furthermore, I thank You for choosing me, for You most certainly have done so. I give myself afresh to journey with You, through this day and through all the days ahead. I dare to dream that we can go forward as one. I thank You. Lead on, please.           Amen.

Rest and peace

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and  I will give you rest."                 Matt.11.28


There hasn't been a posting for a day or two because there is nothing major to report. On the medical front, I met with my GP yesterday but this was merely catch up after my discharge from hospital. I also had a blood test which, hopefully, will show that my liver function is back to normal.

I an now at home for a few days and enjoying the rest and peace that comes with familiar surroundings, friendly faces and small touches of familiarity, caring, and even luxury. Last night I enjoyed the most wonderful sleep.

Hospital is not a place for rest. Being involved with several disciplines (brain, heart, cancer), I seemed to be constantly attended upon, examined and tested, and subject to countless questions. It really is joyous to be home and free of the constant, albeit caring, attention.

My cottage never looked so good or appealing. I plan to overdo my own hospitality in the next few days. Already I see the benefits of relaxation, of knowing that I am in a safe, warm, comfortable and affirming place.

My body is presently in a state of disorganisation. I am grateful that my mind is intact, my emotions seem healthy and my mental functions appear unimpaired.

But my highest delight is in my spirit. I know He is with me in this. He has told me so. At the start of this particular personal journey, I experienced God's assurance that He would be with me, and all would be well. And so it is!

I sense that a time of rest and peace is significant in the moves ahead. Not only do I feel rested, but I sense that I (my body) is also being prepared for the chapter that begins on Monday. Jesus has beckoned me to come to Him. I duly come; I lean on Him and, hopefully, I learn from Him. Best of all, in this present time, I receive His peace. He has given it to me, and I have taken it in full measure. The peace of Jesus is lasting and strong; it gives comfort and hope. It does not lie. If anything changes, it is likely that I moved. Even so, I can easily regain His rest.  



Lord Jesus,
I thank You for the gift of peace. I thank You also for the rest that attends me in these days. Rest and peace are the order of the day, which I gladly receive. I give myself into Your most wonderful benefits. Thank You.    Amen.

In all Things

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.    Rom. 8.28

I note from my last posting that I was hoping for a decent sleep. It didn't happen! Indeed, in retrospect I am tempted to see Saturday night as the Dark Night of the Soul.

The breathing that got easier during the afternoon very quickly worsened as night fell. And it did not get any better through the night. I can tell you I struggled! I have not previously had the experience of literally fighting for breath. On this night it became a very real fight. I was blessed with a beautiful nurse who went out of her way to help but, when all is said and done, the struggle was mine and not hers.

And what a struggle it was! I sat in the chair until I felt that my eyes would close without any  help from me.  Then, when I transferred to bed - and a less upright position - all sorts of resistances kicked in. In seconds I was wide awake again. This happened numerous times until, finally, I simply collapsed into sleep. It was not far off dawn. The next day was challenging.

Today (Monday) there has been a vast improvement. Breathing has improved through fluid control together with adjustment to medications. I have received clearance from the cardiologists, and now I only await approval from the Respiratory Team before I can go home. Hopefully this will happen tomorrow. Oncologists are ready to commence treatment next Monday.

There have been several times in my journey through life when things have happened which have made me wonder how God could possibly work for the good. He has done so - in His time and in His way - despite my wondering! These recent happenings might well be such a "thing". Yet, in retrospect, I look at the exposures and experiences I have been through, and I see the insights that I have gained from this time. So, it just might be that God will work for good, and He might use me to assist.

Lord God,

I didn't think I'd say this, but I thank You for all of these recent happenings. I know that You will work for good, and I feel privileged to be involved. Thank You.      Amen.

Guarded

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.             Proverbs 4.23

I will not be going home today or, maybe for a few days. The cardiologist duly arrived yesterday evening and, with just the start of his examination, announced, "your heart is fibrillating like crazy." Apparently, it was about twice the desirable rate. Thus began the next episode.

I now have a familiarity with many of the departments - and their staffs - at this hospital. Indeed, I wonder how many there might still be to visit. ( I certainly aim to avoid Maternity!). After much arranging and preparation, I was transferred from the Acute Assessment Unit to the Cardiology Ward at about midnight. I was exhausted. Because of the emergency - for such it was regarded - I was fitted with a heart monitor which will capture and record every detail for as long as I wear it. 

The night was long and difficult, and the morning brought no clear relief. After a special time with a church friend, the early afternoon saw me struggling, literally, for breath. I don't think I've previously known such a challenge. I cried out for relief and, just at that moment, another Christian friend arrived, who promptly prayed for me. My friend did not stay long as she saw the difficulty I was in. But the "mission" had been achieved. I often find myself reminding listeners of the power of prayer. Today, I needed to hold on to that power. As the afternoon progressed, so my breathing got easier. Together with this, medications have been adjusted and I look forward to further improvement tomorrow.

I can do what I am able to guard my heart. I believe that God is leading the medical teams in this place to overcome this present setback. And, of course, I have Him as the absolute Guardian of my heart.

The cancer treatment will probably not commence on Monday. Indeed, who knows what the situation will be by then? For now, I'm hoping for a decent sleep tonight and, tomorrow I will give myself into the good Lord's will for me.

Loving Father,

I think I "wobbled" momentarily last night. Forgive me. My trust is in You. I give myself into Your plans for me, whatever these might be.

I thank You for the improvement that I sense at this moment. I thank You for the joy of seeing the results of human endeavours working in conjunction with the power of heaven. I pray for all who may be suffering in any way, and for those who willingly offer help. May they all know the power of Your blessing.

Thank You, in Jesus name.

Amen.

Breathless

Breathe on me breath of God,

fill me with life anew,

that I may love what Thou dost love,

and do what Thou wouldst do.                                    Edwin Hatch

                                                                                         Hymn writer

I have been silent on the ether for a day or two, and there is a reason. Since last Sunday side effects of surgery and medication have given me some challenges. Sleep patterns totally disrupted, and stomach feelings of full and empty at the same time (weird!). But also shortness of breath which has increased as the week progressed. Consequently, I attended hospital yesterday for some routine tests and x-rays and was promptly admitted ( like immediately and without question) due to some alarming initial observations.

Last night the opinion seemed to be that I had contracted pneumonia. Today, however, it looks more likely that the fluid on the lungs is connected to my heart condition. The good news (yes, there is always good news if we look for it) is that the lungs are responding to treatment and, if the cardiologists agree with the lung specialist, I can be home fairly soon. I am already breathing much better and cleaner.

I have latched on to the "pneumonia" word and decided to re-interpret it for the time being. Both the Hebrew word 'Ruach' and the Greek word 'Pneuma' indicate breath, hence I guess the origin of pneumonia. But both words can also mean wind, soul or spirit. Following through on this, I am presently seeing pneumonia as the spirit, and more precisely the Spirit of God, in me. Whatever might be clearing up in my lungs, I see the Spirit of God active, and not just in my lungs but in the whole of me.

Lord, Mighty God,

I invite You to breathe on me with Your most Holy Spirit. From the lungs I call forth healthy breath, and I speak health and well being into every part of my body. Once again, I am assured of Your presence with me, and I freely give myself into the fullness of Your will. Hallelujah!       Amen.

My Vision

Then the LORD replied:

“Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it.

For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false.

Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.”                   Hab. 2.2,3

I believe Habakkuk is talking of a prophet’s vision when God speaks of a revelation. And God’s direction to one when He reveals the vision is that it should be written down.

I can still recall the Bible college lecture of many years ago when the speaker spoke boldly to his listeners with the words: “You need a vision; you need to write it down, and you need to live to its fulfilment. If you don’t have a vision, you need to get one – fast!”

I remember thinking, “I should give up now. I have no idea what my vision might be, and I really don’t know where to get one. I’m here in Bible college simply because I want to know God more. If He chooses to do something with this, it’s up to Him.” 

God did something, and a most wonderful journey in ministry opened up for me. Some years later, when in full time ministry, I found myself sitting at my desk one morning and writing down “My Vision” with the utmost ease and simplicity. The words flowed, and when I reflected upon them, I realised that My Vision had been there all the time.

My Vision still holds today.

My vision is to draw others closer to Christ. I yearn to show people more of Jesus – to show them His love and compassion, His mercy and care, His strength and faithfulness, His comfort and peace.

I want to encourage people to lean on Him and learn from Him, to want to be like Him.

I’d like to teach them principles of devotion and obedience to God’s word.

I’d like to share with them the joy of communion with Jesus, and the strength of living in spiritual maturity. I want to be a worshipper, and I want God to give me the ability to impart to others the desire to worship. 

My Vision fits well with the commission I believe God has given me to: “Tell my people I love them.”

My prayer is that God will give me the time and enabling to continue long in ministry to Him.         Amen.